a modest proposition

Reading about remarks by Jim DeMint, newly elected Senator from S. Carolina, that single, pregnant women should not teach in private schools, and recalling passage in California of DNA testing of all felons, I put 1 + 1 together and was all set to write a parody on the lines of Swift's Modest Proposal, suggesting collection of DNA from all South Carolina men, in order to determine paternity of all children born to single mothers, and requiring them to marry the father, if unmarried, or requiring the father to provide child support if already married. Alas, Senator DeMint is not so easily ridiculed. He objected to pregnant women with live-in boyfriends, thus making DNA paternity testing over-kill for the purposes of excluding from the classroom teachers whose morals he disapproves of. Why pregnant women without live-in boyfriends are acceptable, I'm not sure, but perhaps he wishes to allow single teachers pregnant because of rape to teach without getting an abortion, which Senator DeMint opposes, naturally.

And I thought I was going to be famous for making this proposal, or even proposition if need be. I even worked out the cost issue; if a woman refuse to name the boyfriend, she pays for all the DNA tests required; likewise, if the bf refuses, but tests show he's the one, he pays. Chances are, tests won't be necessary most times, both parties voluntarily accepting responsibility for their hanky panky; there would be no illegitimate children; and abortions would decline because men won't get a free ride for knocking up women.